But how much did you LOVE?

Last week we delivered balloons to a sister who just had surgery.

It made me so happy! I mean, I don't think there's anyone, no matter

the age that can look at a balloon and not think about happiness.

As we were carting these balloons around town (and getting some interesting looks, I might add ), I started thinking about the things we do out of love. Love is an amazing motivator that can get us to things we wouldn't think of doing otherwise. I really can't recall a time that I bought myself a bouquet of balloons (although it's not that bad of an idea). BUT, as my companion and I were strolling out to the truck, I couldn't help but feel that the happy face balloon was the greatest thing I've seen all day (and possibly all week)! With bad weather and sicknesses going around, we needed a good dose of sunshine. Little did we think that we could feel so much “sunshine” from such a little act.

As we handed over the balloons to this dear sister and friend, I couldn't help but feel even deeper love for this wonderful woman I have met. Sure, we could have been knocking on doors or teaching people, but there was nothing else better we could have been doing at that moment. It was a moment when I truly came to feel the pure love of Christ for a fellow daughter of God.

So often the world makes us believe that we have to attain social status or wealth to be happy. We feel that only things that give us praise of men is worthwhile. However, these are Satan's distractions from the TRUE meaning of life. Christ has taught us that the most important commandment is “to love the Lord thy God with all thy heart and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these”

I heard a story the other day about someone who had a near death experience. He saw a light (as is common with near-death experiences), and he saw a man standing there. The man who was having the experience began to start listing all of his worldly accomplishments and wealth to the man, hoping it would show what a good man he was. The man in the dream replied, “I don't care about that. My question is, how much did you love?” The man woke up and his life was changed forever. No longer did he care about his material possessions. Instead, he focused on loving.

I'm grateful for the loving and humble example of our Savior. When He was on the earth, He didn't receive fame or glory. He was born in the humblest of circumstances. He was despised and rejected. However, He continued to love- even those who hated Him.

I'm gratetful for the blessed opportunity I have to love deeper than I've loved before. To serve more than I've ever served before. But most of all, to come to see my fellow brothers and sisters as my Heavenly Father sees them: with pure and complete love.

I wanted to share some of my absolute favorite pictures with you, to help you visualize the love the Savior has for YOU and for all of the people around you: your neighbor, the woman who checks out your groceries at the store, even the person who cuts you off while you're driving.

May we all strive to have deeper love in our hearts for those around us. Let us serve them and help them; that we may be the hands of the Savior- doing what He would do if He were personally ministering among us.

I am not alone

I woke up yesterday feeling very overwhelmed and very discouraged. I have had some set backs and trials that I have been facing lately.  Long story, but something happened that just was the last straw, I guess.  I went into the bathroom and cried and cried.  I found myself on my knees praying that somehow I could even just stop crying long enough to drive to our appointment.  I prayed for peace.

We managed to get to our appointment, but once there, I struggled to even sit up and act pleasant.  After our appointment I said to my companion, I can't do this...can we please find somewhere for me to take a nap?  I felt a little guilty for stopping the work, but I realized that I definitely couldn't work in this condition. I guess it reminds me of how on planes you can't put the air mask on someone else until you put it on yourself. I was in no condition at that point to put a "spiritual air mask" on someone else.

We ended up finding a kind member that let us stop by her house.  While I was attempting to nap, I still just felt so very overwhelmed. I thought of all of my inadequacies and all the things I have to do.  I thought of all the work ahead of me.  I thought of the missionary and person that I want to be, and thought of the missionary that I am currently.  I was discouraged that they didn't quite match up like I had hoped.

I knew that these discouraging thoughts weren't coming from my Heavenly Father. I asked to see myself as He sees me, and to focus on the good.  I was reminded of something I read years ago that states, "God doesn't want us to feel discouraged. Only Satan will make you feel that way.  Heavenly Father will make you feel hope for a positive change".    I realized how much I need the Savior. I needed help.  I physically, mentally and spiritually could not do it alone. 

A miracle happened. Some may say it was a coincidence, but I know it was the Lord orchestrating things.  The Elders from the next town over just "happened" to be down the street from us, teaching an investigator at the church.  They called us and asked if I needed a blessing.  It was a direct answer to my prayers! That was EXACTLY what I needed!

My blessing was very beautiful.  The most comforting words were that my Heavenly Father loves me and is proud of me.  I knew at that moment that I needed to stop feeling like somehow I needed to "earn" His love.  I had lost sight, but luckily was reminded that He loves ALL of His children no matter what. I may have many weaknesses, but that doesn't make me weak; it makes me human. I realized how in a way, it's a blessing to have weaknesses for it helps me rely more on my Savior.  If I were already perfect, I wouldn't need the Savior.  I'm grateful that I DO have weaknesses, so that I can come to know my Savior more personally.  These weaknesses are blessings in disguise, meant to help me draw closer to the Lord and to rely on Him to help make them into strengths.

“And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them” (Ether 12:27).

I was told in my blessing that I need to not worry about things.  No matter what happens in life, I need to focus on the Atonement; for in the end, that's the only thing that really matters. 

Instead of feeling frustrated with myself for my weaknesses, I came to feel a quiet gratitude in my heart that I'm not done growing. For, if I already knew the answers, I wouldn't need the lessons. I'm grateful for the lessons I continue to learn every day, and that I know I will keep learning til the day I die.

After the blessing, I felt renewed hope and strength to face the day!  I'm not going to let anything get me down! I don't have to be perfect, I just have to be trying and relying on the Savior.

To Act or React, that is the Question

I'm going to share a story that may seem a bit silly at first, but when pondered and reviewed in the view of our own life, I hope it can serve as a help.

Imagine you spent your whole life saving up for your dream car. You scrimped and saved for years to make your dreams your reality.  Finally, that joyous day has come! You go to the car lot, pay in cash, and drive away happy as can be.  After driving for a few miles, you hear a strange noise. What could it be?  You stop the car and, much to your dismay, find that your new car has a flat tire!  After some words of frustration, you decide that the car is forever ruined.  Instead of fixing the tire, you decide to pour gas all of the car and light it on fire. So much for the car! So much for your dream!  All hope was lost when you found that flat tire.

Does this sound a little irrational?

It should.

Upon further observation, have you ever acted this way in your life?  Think about something you really desire. Whether that be a family, career, faith, or anything of worth.  In your mind, you have a picture perfect expectation. Someday I'm going to have that perfect career...someday I'm going to have the perfect family...and so on and so on.  Now what do you do when things aren't quite like you imagined?  Do you throw in the towel?

My heart has ached from meeting so many individuals who have thrown away everything good in their life because they were offended.  Specifically, many people stop going to worship God because of what man has done.

Just like this comic on the left depicts, maybe if we took the time to calm ourselves down and if we looked to the Savior for answers, then we could salvage the problem; therefore saving our hopes and dreams. The Savior is the mender of broken hearts, and He knows how to turn the switch of our hearts from discouraged and                                                      down-trodden, to happy and hopeful. I know He has done this in my life. I testify that He can fix even the biggest holes left in our hearts from discouragements we have faced.

I have yet another example:

Imagine that a snake bites you. What are you going to do?........(seriously, take a moment to ponder).

Suppose you are angry with the snake and decide to kill it to get your revenge.  What good does that do?  Well, the snake is dead, but now you are almost dead too because the poison has spread through your leg.

Now, what if you were to not worry about the snake, and you focused instead on getting the venom out of your system.

This is just like life, isn't it?  We can let the words of others sink into our skins; if we focus on revenge, then it only poisons ourselves more. However, if we focus on healing and forgiving, then we can get the help we need from the physician (the master physician being Christ), and we can live happy and fulfilling lives.

Just food for your thought today....

*For more study on this subject, check out this powerful conference talk: Removing the Poison of an Unforgiving Spirit